Superbia #ouderzonden
Regular readers from Belgian bloggers might have noticed that there is currently a new blogging series launched with the # ouderzonden (#parental sins) by Romina from Big City Life. Once a week, we'll blog about the 7 capital sins of parenthood.
So the question of the week is which parental skills we take pride in.
So the question of the week is which parental skills we take pride in.
- Hugging
I'm an excellent hugger and I need my portion of hugs each morning and evening. I'm always ready to interrupt my activities for some hugs for them and I take the time in the morning rush and at bedtime to spend time with them. I love to sit with them on my lap and get some quality time together.
- Empathy and patience
I am way more patient with my children than I ever imagined I'd be before I became a mother. I turn out to have a great level of empathy that helps me to be patient. When I'm up for the xth time during a night, I curse but I curse at a virus, a tooth, .... but I approach the little ones with empathy and understanding that they need to drink once more, have cramps, had a bad dream and need my comforting presence etc.
When they have a tantrum, I do get annoyed but at the same time I keep feeling an understanding and a love for the child that still has to master his emotions when faced with a disappointment , when he doesn't understand a timeline (and "wait a moment" or so) yet, when he doesn't understand when I mean well by forbidding him a cookie before dinner.
So while I used to think that toddler tantrums would wear me out, I can sometimes observe them with a pitying smile.
I do lose my patience though when we need to get somewhere on time and I've asked 10 times already to put on a sweater or shoes and notice that the children haven't moved yet.
When they have a tantrum, I do get annoyed but at the same time I keep feeling an understanding and a love for the child that still has to master his emotions when faced with a disappointment , when he doesn't understand a timeline (and "wait a moment" or so) yet, when he doesn't understand when I mean well by forbidding him a cookie before dinner.
So while I used to think that toddler tantrums would wear me out, I can sometimes observe them with a pitying smile.
I do lose my patience though when we need to get somewhere on time and I've asked 10 times already to put on a sweater or shoes and notice that the children haven't moved yet.
- Telling them I love them and telling sorry when I do something wrong and praising good things
I tell them very frequently explicitly that I love them. Also when I forbid them or have to punish them I try to explain that the reason is that I love them and would feel very sad to see them hurt or ...
I also have no issue giving them my apologies when I did something wrong. I also praise out loud when the children do something good.
I also have no issue giving them my apologies when I did something wrong. I also praise out loud when the children do something good.
- Long-time breastfeeding
I'm almost breastfeeding Beertje 2 years as recommended by the WHO and I've reached 22 months with Kabouter (when my production dropped due to the pregnancy). For both boys I've pumped milk at work for a year. For both I overcame breast infections, the painfull first weeks, nipple gaps, etc.
I hope this contributed to their health, bonding, social trust, .... (as well as my health benefits!) and our intimate mother-son moments that I treasure very much.
I hope this contributed to their health, bonding, social trust, .... (as well as my health benefits!) and our intimate mother-son moments that I treasure very much.
- I don't feel guilty to be a full-time working mother
I don't have the desire at all to be a mother at home. I work full-time and don't feel guilty for it. The children are often using after school care services where they seem to have a lot of fun. By the time I am done working and at home I am very much looking forward to be with them and in the weekends I focus on family time together.
The combination of working and being a mother, gives me personally the feeling to be a more complete mother. And I give them the example on how women can take up their role in businesses and get a career just like their dad.
The combination of working and being a mother, gives me personally the feeling to be a more complete mother. And I give them the example on how women can take up their role in businesses and get a career just like their dad.
- Persistent
I try to be persistent and consistent: when I say they need to eat 4 more bites from their plate before they can leave the table...I'll keep on repeating it until it happens while I ignore most protests. I try to give them structure and predictability by doing so and setting boundaries.
(ok ok, sometimes I cave in, sometimes I am simply too tired. And sometimes the children have convincing arguments ;) )
But most of all it's my unconditional love for my children that makes me a good mother.
(ok ok, sometimes I cave in, sometimes I am simply too tired. And sometimes the children have convincing arguments ;) )
But most of all it's my unconditional love for my children that makes me a good mother.
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